One of the questions we get when we tell people that our daughter goes to school where carrying sticks is not only tolerated but encouraged, is what happens if the kids hit themselves or poke themselves or any inflict any other bodily malady with the sticks. I mean, I thought about all of those things too, despite the fact that I like to make statements about not being a hover-y type mom…
It’s amazing how much kids can do a bit of auto-correcting when they’re surrounded by about twenty others, who usually are also brandishing one (if not two) sticks as well. We’ve gotten used to the sticks and the truth is, usually nothing happens. Usually.
But yesterday it did – she was running around and fell on some sticks. Or fell on a stick she was holding. Or fell on a stick someone else was holding. Honestly, sometimes the details are hard to make out from a four-year old. But there was a fall and it did involve sticks. So it happens.
On the exterior, her cheek looks a bit rough. On the interior of the cheek, rougher. I think there were more than a few tears. But the teachers didn’t seem too worried – they just passed on all the relevant information. And moreover, my daughter didn’t seem to worried. Despite the tears, an ice cream cone after school seemed to help mend away any immediate pain. The lesson of being careful with sticks still will always stand and to some degree, now she understands first hand why. They still make me nervous, but for her? She picked up right where she left off yesterday this morning when she walked in the gates…stick in hand.
Fall this year in Denmark is being really good to us – the colors are bright, the leaves are staying up, and it’s not even raining every day! Which makes for good days to take walks in order to appreciate it all the more.
Normally on weekends, we get to do many of the things that I like to do – I’m the mom, I get to pick! But I also let my toddler daughter pick more and more something that we’ll do for one of the days during the weekend as well. And this weekend she picked Dyrehaven, which is fine by me since it’s one of the most beautiful green spaces we have. It’s located just north of Copenhagen in Klampenborg and accessible by car or train, but feels like another world.
The funny thing about Dyrehaven is that now that my daughter has two years for forest school under her belt, she knows this park better than I ever could. They come here often, as do many schools from the area – but if a forest school in Denmark is not in the cards, this is easily a place you can come to get part of the experience yourself.
It’s mating season for deers and they have some of the most beautiful stags here (or bucks? what’s the right term). Sadly, the weekend day we went (i.e the day I bothered to bring my camera), just about everyone else in Copenhagen went to so I didn’t get a good sighting. But if you go on weekdays where it’s less crowded and in the early morning or early evening hours, you’ll be amazed at how close you can get. And how spectacular it all looks.
She asked to take her bike and she was zipping in and out of those woods like a pro, waiting for me and showing me little ins and outs that only an insider would know. Three years ago, if she were out of sight on a bike in the middle of the woods, I’d probably feel nervous. Now? I just feel proud.
Ahh, the Danish language… Learning it as an adult is near impossible. Well, not impossible, but really not all that easy. Not that I have been trying that hard at it. But for my daughter while the beginning was tough, the end result seems to be a touch shy of native – here’s how long it took our toddler to learn Danish.
Because of the blonde hair, I’m often mistaken for Danish, which leads to a few initial seconds of misunderstanding in any conversation and culminates me explaining yet again that I don’t speak the language. But what ends up being more surprising is when our daughter then rattles along in Danish as she were native to here. Oh, wait…she thinks she is.
It wasn’t always like that. The beginning was slow. And painful. When we first started the school, our daughter was often on the outside looking in – both literally and figuratively. She was always so quiet and often, outside of the group. As much as I spouted on and on about kids being resilient and not needing language (especially before actually having kids myself), it pretty much broke my heart to see her not be included.
When the weeks rolled on and she was still the quiet child on the outside, I started to wonder whether this would ever really sink in. My parents, who had actually seen this very same story before when they arrived in the US with me in tow, at nearly the same age, encouraged me to hang in there; one day, the gates would just open. She was being quiet, yes, but she was also absorbing.
To their credit, the school never really pressured her or me about the language thing. In fact, they also were pretty reassuring that it would sort itself out eventually. And if you read the speech impediment essay, they were doing their own thing to help her get to the right place at the right time.
So when people ask how long it took, I always pause for a minute because there were those days and weeks in the beginning where I thought it would take forever. But in reality, it didn’t take that much time at all. She started school in November, and by March she was singing along with the songs, though not exhibiting much conversation. Then, towards the end of April, she started to participate in conversations at school. And by June, when we visited Spain, with Norwegian friends, she got her first compliment of sounding like a native speaking Dane from them, and she had no problem chatting back and forth with Norwegian girls her age. Now she gets those compliments all the time. After June, she was talking a mile a minute. So in the end, the road to fluency really took about six months.
That’s just a ballpark figure though – each child is an individual. In the end, I’m not sure which elements made a difference or not, but here are a few things that might be helpful to know about our situation:
The speech therapist that the school provided made a big difference (I think anyway). She helped our daughter understand that she had a Danish-speaking life at school and an English-speaking one at home. Her time with the therapist also gave her some safe space to practice and ask questions and really absorbs words and the unique Danish sounds. If your child is trying to learn the language here, definitely ask around for resources similar to that – or I know they also have language adjustment classes as well for those starting school here at different ages. I don’t know much about them but be in communication with your kommune to take advantage of the resources out there.
We went all in on the schedule – when she started school, she started every day and all day, and we stuck to that schedule consistently. There was of course a ramp up in the first week or two, and for the first six months we picked her up a little earlier in the day than we do now, but we never did the half day thing or the couple of days a week thing. A lot of that was due to my work commitments, but a lot of it was intentional on our part as well so that, although it wasn’t always the easiest, it was the most consistent for her. It also made the days long enough where she needed to speak Danish eventually in order to be understood.
At our particular school, while the teachers all spoke at least some level of English, they phased out of using it unless it was an emergency after the first couple of weeks. She also didn’t have really any English-speaking classmates except for one who spoke English in addition to Danish. Basically, there was enough to make her comfortable but not so much that it was a crutch.
There is a lot of singing and music at our particular school and that’s always resonated with our daughter. She loves music – so even when the language wasn’t coming immediately, she could start to recognize the melodies and then would join in on songs as best she could way before she would actually start to say something.
Because our daughter was young when she started (nearly 3), and she hadn’t yet really attended a school before, ALL of it was new to her – not just the language thing. The concept of school, plus being outside all day, plus the language… to some degree, she didn’t know any other version of school so I think to her the language just ended up being what they spoke in school, outside. Basically, it never occurred to her that it could be in English or that school would be inside.
All in all, learning a language is a tough thing but really, kids do pick it up quite quickly. And the whole process will accelerate when they start to make friends as well. But, I will say this – as a parent, while you know that ultimately learning a language is a gift in the long run, in the short run, there are hard days. Hang in there… sometimes the quietest days are when they absorb the most.
October has been busy, busy for us, and if I could get to everything in time, there would have been about ten out + about posts for us. It’s really just that time of year that you start settle into the change of seasons, right? The shorts go away, the layers come out…the darker nights come earlier and the transition to the “school year” isn’t quite as hectic anymore…plus Copenhagen, and the area to the north of us, really does offer a lot during the fall. A few I’ve mentioned on the blog already but just in case I don’t get to everything before the month is over, here are our toddler favorites for October in Copenhagen!
Dyrehaven Park: This is a favorite any time of year, and a frequent stomping ground of many a forest school here in the area. In fact, our toddler knows this park infinitely better than we do so she’s very much the guide on her turf when we make it out. It’s gorgeous in October with the fall colors and hiking paths that go for ever, so it’s a stroll everyone can enjoy (and she likes to bring her bike since we give her free reign). As a bonus, the end of September and October are mating seasons so you’ll see and hear lots more excitement about the park…it’s like your own Mutual of Omaha special.
Apples and Pears at Frydenlunds Frugtplantage: This year, it looks like Frydenlunds will wrap up the self-pick season on October 18th. We’ve already been twice (see the apple picking post here) but it really is worth a trip out to Vedbaek if you have never been. Not only is the fruit fantastic, but that particular area is also lovely for fall and has some of the nicest homes in greater Copenhagen.
Yayoi Kusama at the Louisiana Museum: The retrospective of this priestess of pop art polka dots just opened over at the Louisiana and just another way that they’re hitting out of the park this year. We’re members at the museum and I found that we were getting a bit bored at some of the exhibits last year, but this year, one after the other have been hits for our family. Kusama’s art can be delicate (um, and valuable) so the one tough thing at this exhibit is that your wee ones will see lots of stuff that looks like you can touch and handle, except for of course, you can’t. Still, it’s worth taking them to see some of what’s surely in their imaginations come to life. Try to make it on a weeknight when the museum has late night hours – you don’t have to go all that late, but avoiding some of the rush hours over the weekend will give you more space to enjoy the art, and less hassle fighting the crowds. And bonus, you can do the buffet dinner at the lovely cafe.
Halloween at Tivoli: This one is a no-brainer. Not only is Tivoli open again for three weeks (hurrah!), but they do Halloween like nobody’s business. Last year, they brought in 17,000 pumpkins (to give you a sense of scale) and all the rides are redecorated in a Halloween theme. Plus, they have stands selling mulled wine (even more this year!) – what could be better?
Trick or Treating!: Yes! It can be done here in Denmark and it’s actually getting more and more popular. The two best areas to go are in the “potato rows” down in Osterbro or in the Skovshoved area (rumor has it that the American Ambassador’s residence is always well stocked and now neighboring houses are prepared too!) – Danes are giving their own “hyggeligt” spin on this classic American holiday so don’t miss out on one of the best nights of the year!
